Update

I'm back! I'm starting to post here again :) Just a little FYI

i have the best damn man

What does a woman look for in a man?

I have the best man in the world and I just want to tell you what kind of man he is and what he's done for me the past 2 - 2 1/2 years...

He
opens doors for me,
offers my family a place to stay when they come and visit,
pays for dinners,
tells jokes,
takes me to wonderful cities,
flies me first class,
cuddles with me,
tells me he is the luckiest guy in the world to have me,
trustworthy,
tickles me,
surprises me with flowers,
buys me massages,
makes me feel secure,
introduced me to the most important people in his life,
is spontanious,
took me horseback riding,
plans trips for us,
has made my dreams come true,
puts a roof over my head,
buys me clothes,
makes me feel loved,
keeps me protected,
has his sh*t together,
is committed,
has set achievements and completed them,
sees our family in the future,
takes me opinion to thought,
sets his mind on something and does/gets it,
knows how to dress,
has a wonderful sense of humor,
has been through a lot,
knows how to treat women,
is a hard worker,
has a big brain,
is successful beyond his years,
is one in a billion,
has good taste,
wants to see everyone around his succeed,
has a big loving heart,
knows how to balance things in his life,
wants to have children,
will be the best Dad in the world,
wants to marry me!

Family Apple-Tree

Finally, we are here and settled in NYC!
We were itching to get out of maui.

We got to New York City last Sunday and my brother, Joe and his girlfriend, Beth came over to see our place.Then we all got dinner, nothing fancy just some deli-type place. It felt so good to spend time with my Joe. We rarely have bonded, except for some random weekend in Columbus during the Ohio State Michigan weekend... good times.

It was nice talking over sandwiches, sharing stories of Mark and I's travel stories and Joe and Beth's moving-in stories. She just moved her about a month ago. I like her. I like the way she tells stories and just laughs at herself.

I'm really changing my attitude. And I keep telling myself it takes baby steps and I really think that's helping me change. Every time I look at my bracelets, one that I got when I went to go see the Dalai Lama speak in Maui and the other bracelet has a quote on it from Ghandi, I think of change. It sounds stupid but it's really helping.

Then my Mom called me and said she got a ticket to come see us next weekend!! YEAH... I'm so excited and lately I've been sad that I can't spend as much time as I would like with my family and in the next 6 months I'm going to spend more time than I ever thought! That really makes me happy. :) AND.... my sister, Nicole and my cousin, Maria are coming to stay with us for a long weekend next month! The only one left to get to New York is my Dad, he's a home-body though.

I love spending time with the people who have been there throughout my whole life and the one I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. It feels good and the family tree is complete...

sorry so short...

Hey, sorry so short with the entry but I'm trying to write in the blog as much as I can. i just wanted to say that I'm drunk-typing and I want to tell you how mcuh I appreciate Mark Evans DM.
I love him so much and he's actually calling me to bed ass we type...
I gotta go but I love my Mom soooo much and he wrote me the sweetest letter that I've ever gotten...
I'll write you what he wrote me tomorrow.
We're getting ready to leave Maui heading for New York City.. both of us CAN NOT WAIT til we get to the city!!!

Did you ever want to tell someone something that you never got to tell them?

This was the question he asked me yesterday. Followed with a "...like a friend or even an ex boyfriend?" Even before he said "ex boyfriend" I knew he was talking about his ex girlfriend.
It hurt my feelings. I'm a sensitive person and know all I'm going to think about for the rest of my life is that he has something, whatever it is that he wants to tell her in the back of his heart, just waiting there til what...

And what is it that he would say to her?

He wanted to get out of the town that they had spent there x amount of years in. I remember in the beginning of our relationship he said "I'm afriad that one night we'll be out and see 'someone'" That 'someone' he was referring to was obviously the ex.

Then there are times when he's telling me a story and he'll use some random guy's name to talk about her parents or some summer cook out story. I just know when he's doing this. And I smile and listen and do a fake laugh if I have to. And in the back of my head I know it's her.

Part of me is like, we'll this is what he had before he meet me. And I just have to deal with it. Then you know what celebrity couple I think of... Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck. I think about how Ben and Jennifer Lopez were in the public eye for so long and everybody knew their business and they were engaged. I know it's so cheesey to think if them but I do. One article I read with Jennifer Garner that I'll never forget her saying is, she was asked about Ben and J Lo and she said something like "he has been very respectful with that whole situation and I want to be respectful to him"

I think about her a lot, She's always in the back of my mind and I've never even meet her. But I will respect what they had and I can't control any of that. One thing that Mark said to me that I'll always remember is "without any of that happening (that, meaning past relationships) we wouldn't be here."

It's true. I love him so much and I'll respect his past.

my life as it is

I read my favorite blog, not including my own, almost everyday.
Check it out for yourself, Stephanie is real and funny and knows how to relate with others.

So today she posted "living without a plan" and I thought I'd answer the question she asked...

"What is it that you think you might miss about your life right now, as it is?"

I will miss about my life, right now:

The traveling. Being here in Maui is like paradise. I know that is so cliche to say but it is!
I just started complaining about the "shleping" of luggage (verb: pull along heavily, like a heavy load against a resistance) as my Mom would say.
I will look back at this time in my life and really miss traveling on to the next place only after a few months. And I used to get emotional attached to the places we would go. At first, I was like "don't you want to stay another month?... "
But now I can't wait to move on, sitting here in Maui right now, I can't wait to leave here on May 3rd. I feel kind of bad for saying that, but it's true.

It's funny, I look back at my life, before I met Mark and I wrote down every place I wanted to travel to. I thought to myself "If I work and save up my money I can go to 1 place a year for the next 10 years." then I would have completed my "travel list".
This is how life works. It's "The Secret" and I love the way it's worked out for me.

I dont need the test

Well, it came. I got my period this morning.

Part of me was wanting to be pregnant. I was kids. And I'm with the person that I love so much and that I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. I love Mark. He's the best guy in the world and when we have children I can't wait to see him the day I pop our first kid out. I can't wait to see him playing with them and teaching them the real important lessons in life. I know he's going to be the best dad out of any other dad that our kids are friends with. I hate to compare but it's true. He's going to be the funny dad that says funny stuff and is always there. I can't wait for those days to come.

I want to give my parents there first grandchild. I can't wait to see my parents with my child. They deserve that. I picture Mark and I going out of town, going on vacations and us flying in my mom to come to our house and watch the baby.

I also was starting to enjoy the eating. "Now I get to eat more and whatever I want" is what I thought. I thought I was eating for 2.

Being pregnant we would have to stop traveling. I love traveling, I do but it would be nice because then we would settle down somewhere, in some city and get comfortable. I can't wait to travel to our next destination every time but I also can't wait to settle down in a house in a nice neighborhood with neighbors and other families.

And there was the part of my that didn't want a child now just because I see us doing everything in order, first comes love, then comes marriage than comes the baby in the baby carriage...
I know not everything comes in the order and so easily but it's nice when it does.

I also have been drinking a lot since we've gotten to Maui. And the food I've been eating has not been the healthiest. When I'm pregnant I want to eat healthy, lots of fruits and vegatables and salads, organic things. Well, that's what I say now right?

Mark and Deena sittin' in a tree
k-i-s-s-i-n-g
first comes love
then comes marriage
then comes Mark in a baby carriage...